I have always found blogging to be a bit of a love-hate thing - one moment my cheeks are crimson with the cringe-worthy self expression, the next I'm proudly hitting that 'publish' button on a post that will rock your socks.
It's a tricky thing blogging - that balance of complete openness and honesty, versus the more thematic blogs, focusing purely on travel experiences, fashion know-how or DIY to-dos. For me I feel like I haven't quite found my spot in between all that. I'm not too sure how candid I can be about my life (there's a big part of me that thinks, 'Egh, why do they want to know?!', at the same time as cringing at, 'egh, why would I want to share that?!'). I guess that's the voyeur/tell-all parts of me in complete disagreement.
I read my favourite blogs on a daily basis, some are complete outpourings of words, emotions, thoughts and feelings, which have my eyes glued to the screen, shocked that someone can be so easily open. A Blog About Love is a good example of that. Others are more considered outpourings, each word matched and marked, a kind of blunt honesty, which seems to hurt the blogger to share - a strained expression if you will.
Then there are the frivolous pages. The fashion junkies, the DIY nuts, the all-in-one happy-go-luckys. A gentle dose of candy floss to plump up the cheeriness after reading those aforementioned blogs. And then a little dose of - I guess - jealousy-inducing blogs: young married couples sparkly and shiny, living somewhat similar lives to your own, but doing it with such grace and flair, and looking so damn fashion savvy the whole way through. But I guess it really does come down to presentation right? Because they probably also blog in their frumpy pyjamas, with a stuffy nose, not-even-could-be-bed-hair-just-damn-messy-hair, surrounded by bills to pay and admin to do. Hmph. Ideal procrastination.
I know I've spoken of blogs before. Many times. Here, here and here. But it is an ongoing internal argument for me. I just can't help playing it over in my head. It seems to revive itself especially when there is no clear thing for me to put up on these pages - at least when we were traversing the world I had a clear target, I had something to photograph and document and paste on these web walls. Now life is about work, and day-to-day nuances, and - especially at the moment - between Husband and I, which one of us has the worst case of the flu. Blog-worthy? I dare say not.
So the audience dwindles - I don't even know what the audience wants. A simple outpouring? A fashion junkie? The blatant honest truth? Nuances of life?
So it is that my five-times-a-week posts slip and slide, like a slow motion avalanche. Becoming every-other-day-posts, and not-so-often-at-all posts. So it is that the words run out.