I just read this INCREDIBLE article; the words twist and flow like perfect poetry; but the message behind is the real clincher - the real pill to swallow. You have to click here, and read it all. Or, if you're feeling a little lazy for this Friday afternoon, read this little bit I cut out, and pasted here:
I don't want my girls to be children who are perfect and then, when they start to feel like women, they remember how I thought of myself as ugly and so they will be ugly too. They will get older and their breasts will lose their shape and they will hate their bodies, because that's what women do. That's what mommy did. I want them to become women who remember me modeling impossible beauty. Modeling beauty in the face of a mean world, a scary world, a world where we don't know what to make of ourselves.
"Look at me, girls!" I say to them. "Look at how beautiful I am. I feel really beautiful, today."
I see it behind their eyes, the calculating and impression. I see it behind their shining brown eyes, how glad they are that I believe I am beautiful. They love me. To them, I am love and guidance and warm, soft blankets and early mornings. They have never doubted how wonderful I am. They have never doubted my beauty. How confusing it must have been for them to see me furrowing my brow in the mirror and sucking in my stomach and sighing.
How confusing it must have been to have me say to them, "You think I am beautiful, but you are wrong. You are small and you love me, so you're not smart enough to know how unattractive I am. I know I am ugly because I see myself with mean eyes. You are my child and I love you, but I will not allow myself to be pretty, for you. No matter how shining you are when you watch me brushing my hair and pulling my dress over my head. No matter how much you want to be just like me, I can't be beautiful for you and I don't know why."
**
Thank you to my mom, who always made me know that looks were not the most important thing - brains were. Thank gosh for a solid grounding like that.
[Article excerpt and pic from Offbeat Families]
1 comment:
You were such a beautiful child, and now a beautiful adult, that I had to stress that beauty wasn't everything, that your intelligence and what you achieve in life by using your brains was more important. I believe in your smartness, your drive and your will to do great things. Being beautiful too does no harm. mom
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