It seems wierd. So strange to be getting out while the going is good.
But maybe that's why it'll work this time. Before I've always left
because the going has got tough. Before its been about running away.
Maybe that scrabble post was not quite what I meant. Maybe I'm only just starting to see the true meaning.
Because this time I don't feel like there's anything to run away from. I
have a world here: friendships that grow stronger by the day, a family as loving as they are caring, and work that keeps pouring
in. And lots of work makes me a very happy girl.
So I've been very nostalgic lately. Nostalgic for a place that I haven't even left yet. For winter roads with autumn trees. For running partners. And board game coffee bars. Places that are Warm&Glad. Girls night. Dress-up ghost-themed nights, even the really cold ones. Family-filled croissant brunches. Working hard, and long, but getting into the groove. Walking off set at the end of a long day happy, but sad.
It feels like I'm walking away from such promise. Walking away from
delicate little friendships that have just started to bloom. Walking
away from my new family, where I finally feel like I fit in. Walking
away from a world that is home, that is happy, that has its own long
streets, its own long paths filled with adventure and discovery.
Leaving is going to be a different kind of discovery though. A discovery
of self. A discovery of far-off distant places. A discovery of just how
different our lives can be, just as they're starting to get so
comfortable and nice and warm and safe.
So I'm not running away. There's nothing bad or wrong or horrible here
that I don't want to face. Things are pretty good here. Pretty amazing
here. There's no denying that. I'm just going to see the rest.